Loving Lore Lingers
by Huanne Burnett
Two weeks after I moved to Oxford, my third child was born. I wondered what the Lovely ladies of the town would think of their monstrously misshapen new neighbor, but soon my unwarranted fears were abated by their kindnesses. Over the years, these ladies became my treasured friends, wise mentors, and trustworthy supporters. In the community, the women were generous resources, smart activists, and wholesome entertainers. I kept a chest filled with the delightful stories we told to each other. Opening that chest again now to share with others brings back tender memories.
Getting More Than You Bargained For
Mrs. One was a stately, glamorous Southern grandmother. At one time, she had family members living with her. The youngest grandson was in my class at the local school. One day, the seventh grade boys seemed distracted. The distraction was a photograph of a somewhat scantily-clad girl. (Although the photo was a sensation in the late 1960s, it would not justify a second glance in our current 2014 culture).
When I located the photograph, Mrs. One’s grandson admitted that it belonged to him. I returned the property and suggested that he discuss the appropriateness of the picture with his grandmother. I was aware of the well-deserved respect Mrs. One held in the community and in the heart of the lad.
The next day, the student related that he had stuffed the photograph through a crack in his bedroom wall. He never told his grandmother. The secret was ours. Over the years, whenever the house was purchased by a new owner, I would remember that they are also getting a “girlie” photograph in the wall.
When I located the photograph, Mrs. One’s grandson admitted that it belonged to him. I returned the property and suggested that he discuss the appropriateness of the picture with his grandmother. I was aware of the well-deserved respect Mrs. One held in the community and in the heart of the lad.
The next day, the student related that he had stuffed the photograph through a crack in his bedroom wall. He never told his grandmother. The secret was ours. Over the years, whenever the house was purchased by a new owner, I would remember that they are also getting a “girlie” photograph in the wall.
Scars of the Great Depression
Mrs. Two performed more outreach to the needy in our town than did most people. I sometimes went with her to homes. One was the home of a bedridden man and in another lived a woman who was a double amputee. Mrs. Two delivered food, checked the efficiency of the utilities, verified medical supplies and took the blood pressures of the residents.
As children of the Great Depression, Mrs. Two and I were taught the virtue of frugality. In the early 1950s, she was determined that she could afford a full-length fur coat, which was part of an exceptionally good sale at a store in Atlanta. She came home with a dowdy-fitting size 16 coat. Mrs. Two explained that the size 14 was a better fit, but the one she chose was a better buy because it had more fur for the same amount of money.
As children of the Great Depression, Mrs. Two and I were taught the virtue of frugality. In the early 1950s, she was determined that she could afford a full-length fur coat, which was part of an exceptionally good sale at a store in Atlanta. She came home with a dowdy-fitting size 16 coat. Mrs. Two explained that the size 14 was a better fit, but the one she chose was a better buy because it had more fur for the same amount of money.
When All Else Fails – Read the Directions
Mrs. Three had an easy name to remember because of her famous son. This soft-spoken lady pursued both education and ministerial training. While teaching in our local public school, she decided she needed to lose weight.
A nutritional product for losing weight was being advertised. As is generally true of Americans, many people were hopping onto the new product bandwagon – and Mrs. Three was with them!
After a few months, Mrs. Three complained to her colleagues that the product wasn’t working; she was actually gaining weight. She explained her routine – every evening she had a large dinner with her husband -- and then drank the product.
A nutritional product for losing weight was being advertised. As is generally true of Americans, many people were hopping onto the new product bandwagon – and Mrs. Three was with them!
After a few months, Mrs. Three complained to her colleagues that the product wasn’t working; she was actually gaining weight. She explained her routine – every evening she had a large dinner with her husband -- and then drank the product.
A Quick-Draw McGraw
Mrs. Four was alert, quick, smart … you might say, “as sharp as a tack.” One morning during Sunday school, there was a discussion about Luke of the first century A.D. Historically, Luke is sometimes described as a physician. One regular male member of the class asked the question, “What kind of a physician was Luke?” without any hesitation and no change of expression, Mrs. Four answered, “Ears, nose and throat.”
Mind Your Manners
Mrs. “Five” was a true professional in her expertise, attitude, and loyalty. She was equally skillful in homemaking and motherhood. One year she invited the five year old boys in Oxford to her son’s birthday party. Excitement and expectation filled some households for days.
On the day of the party, the brave little boys left their parents’ cars and went into the house alone. One little boy walked in, went directly to Mrs. Five and said, “I had a nice time!” Mrs. Five replied, “We are glad you are here but the party is just starting.” The boy responded, “My mother told me to be sure to tell you I had a nice time and I was afraid I’d forget.”
On the day of the party, the brave little boys left their parents’ cars and went into the house alone. One little boy walked in, went directly to Mrs. Five and said, “I had a nice time!” Mrs. Five replied, “We are glad you are here but the party is just starting.” The boy responded, “My mother told me to be sure to tell you I had a nice time and I was afraid I’d forget.”
You Say Potato and I Say Potahto
Miss “Six” had many years of experience teaching first graders. Her petite size, her sense of humor, and her inexhaustible patience helped make her a good fit for her career.
One morning a little girl complained that another student had her “cheer.” After Mrs. Six got the little girl a chair, she thought the problem was settled and then took some on-on-one time to help the little girl pronounce “chair “properly. Mrs. Six ended by saying not to say the word “cheer” again.
Some days later, the students were returning to the classroom from recess on the playground. The excited little girl said, “Mrs. Six, we had the best time! We did chairs!”
Mrs. Six corrected her, “No dear, you did cheers.”
The frustrated little girl cried, But you told me never to say that word again!”
One morning a little girl complained that another student had her “cheer.” After Mrs. Six got the little girl a chair, she thought the problem was settled and then took some on-on-one time to help the little girl pronounce “chair “properly. Mrs. Six ended by saying not to say the word “cheer” again.
Some days later, the students were returning to the classroom from recess on the playground. The excited little girl said, “Mrs. Six, we had the best time! We did chairs!”
Mrs. Six corrected her, “No dear, you did cheers.”
The frustrated little girl cried, But you told me never to say that word again!”
Doctor’s Orders
Mrs. Seven was sincere in her moral beliefs and conduct. In later years, she felt she had to justify her new practice. Her doctor told her that a glass of wine a day would probably be good for her. After that advice, she told us that she “takes a glassful every evening.”
More than One Way to Skin a Cat
Mrs. Eight was reading a current best seller by a Southern author. She found the thick, heavy book difficult to hold. Since the novel was somewhat risqué, she decided she would not be sharing it with friends. She wasn’t even sure she wanted others to know that she was reading such material.
Mrs. Eight solved both problems. She kept trash containers at her bedside. As she finished reading a page, she tore it from the book and “trashed” it. Needless to say, the book became much thinner and lighter.
Mrs. Eight solved both problems. She kept trash containers at her bedside. As she finished reading a page, she tore it from the book and “trashed” it. Needless to say, the book became much thinner and lighter.
Best Laid Plans
Mrs. Nine left the teachers’ lounge with the only colleague on the staff, who was actually older than she. The lounge had been full of younger female teachers who were discussing their well-constructed plans for their futures. The topics included the following: when they would finish their next degree, when they would have their first baby, when they would purchase a house, when they would have another child, etc. In the hallway, the older teacher turned to Mrs. Nine and said, “I think that, in the old days, our ways were much more sporting.”
Parsonage Ladies Laughed Too
Mrs. Ten told of her husband’s frustration when his morning sermon was rather ineffective. He had tried to contrast the ideas of abstract and concrete. She gently explained that at the pulpit, he had kept using the words, abstract and cement.
Mrs. Eleven was complaining one morning about the dark circles under her eyes. Mrs. Ten’s little girl turned to her with an understanding expression and said, “Mother, God made a mistake.”
Mrs. Twelve was a young bride when she tried to surprise her husband by preparing one of his favorite dishes – candied potatoes. The novice young cook had called an experienced parishioner for the recipe. Dinner did turn out to be a surprise. There was only one problem – Mrs. Eleven had candied Irish potatoes.
Mrs. Eleven was complaining one morning about the dark circles under her eyes. Mrs. Ten’s little girl turned to her with an understanding expression and said, “Mother, God made a mistake.”
Mrs. Twelve was a young bride when she tried to surprise her husband by preparing one of his favorite dishes – candied potatoes. The novice young cook had called an experienced parishioner for the recipe. Dinner did turn out to be a surprise. There was only one problem – Mrs. Eleven had candied Irish potatoes.
Keep Going and Sharing
Miss. Thirteen dedicated years of her life to the missionary field. She was an early missionary to China during very trying times in that country. She was actually imprisoned there under extremely harsh conditions. Miss Twelve authored inspirational and informative books dealing with her experiences.
We were fortunate to have Miss Thirteen living in our midst during some of her retirement years. This pious lady never felt that her spiritual growth was completed. Her alertness and activeness were sufficient for her to participate in community events and even present programs for us. She also had a keen sense of humor and she was skilled in turning words and phrases so that her deliveries were colorful and entertaining. This pious lady never felt that her spiritual growth was completed.
Miss Thirteen eagerly anticipated the Southern practice of conducting camp meetings during the summer months. Once she testified that, for her, attending camp meetings was tonic enough to last a whole year.
We were fortunate to have Miss Thirteen living in our midst during some of her retirement years. This pious lady never felt that her spiritual growth was completed. Her alertness and activeness were sufficient for her to participate in community events and even present programs for us. She also had a keen sense of humor and she was skilled in turning words and phrases so that her deliveries were colorful and entertaining. This pious lady never felt that her spiritual growth was completed.
Miss Thirteen eagerly anticipated the Southern practice of conducting camp meetings during the summer months. Once she testified that, for her, attending camp meetings was tonic enough to last a whole year.
Dig It
Mrs. Fourteen owned a dwelling on Asbury Street during the two or three years she resided in Oxford. This senior citizen widow lived alone and preferred outdoor to indoor chores. The entire neighborhood knew that she waged war on weeds. During the morning hours on clear days, she could be seen on her lawn, with hoe in hand, digging weeds.
The man of the house next door considered his stroll to the post office to be his daily constitutional. One morning, as he passed the well-kept lawn, he called out to the laboring gardener, “Good morning, Mrs. Thirteen. Oh my! You are the best hoer in town!” Mrs. Fourteen ceased her work, straightened to her full stature, and replied, “Who told you?”
The man of the house next door considered his stroll to the post office to be his daily constitutional. One morning, as he passed the well-kept lawn, he called out to the laboring gardener, “Good morning, Mrs. Thirteen. Oh my! You are the best hoer in town!” Mrs. Fourteen ceased her work, straightened to her full stature, and replied, “Who told you?”
Open-Minded Teenagers
Teenage girls were in abundance around town during the early 1970’s. These gregarious teens tended to do things together – even summer jobs. Many girls had horses and appeared to form an informal equestrian club. The one Jewish family in town had a daughter whose age, attitudes, and personality made a perfect fit in the group.
During their high school sports seasons, the girls were loyal spectators. Parents took turns transporting the group to out-of-town games. The travel time to-and-fro always grew into a song fest. One regular song contained the words, “… and they’ll know we are Christians by our love ….” When the song ended, someone would say, “Ok, one time for “J.” In the second rendition they would sing, “… and they’ll know we are Jewish by our love.”
During their high school sports seasons, the girls were loyal spectators. Parents took turns transporting the group to out-of-town games. The travel time to-and-fro always grew into a song fest. One regular song contained the words, “… and they’ll know we are Christians by our love ….” When the song ended, someone would say, “Ok, one time for “J.” In the second rendition they would sing, “… and they’ll know we are Jewish by our love.”
Slow and Steady
My treasure chest of laughter is not yet emptied, but your interest level may be depleted. However, you might like to know about the overly cautious woman who paid her only court fine for the violation of impeding traffic on I-10. In this fast-moving world, her outdated motto of “slow and steady” did not win the race.
Another woman was showing her grandchildren old family movies. These movies were filmed when the grandchildren’s parents were young. One of the fascinated viewers turned and announced, “Grandma, you were new then!”
An amused mother tells of her family’s move to Oxford from the city. Her urban-experienced youngest son was invited by a new friend to spend the afternoon at a local cattle farm. That night, the son told his mother that the farmer had lots of cows and he had named all of them “Sue.” The lad continued to explain that the farmer stood at the fence, cupped his hands to his mouth and called, “Sue! Sue! Sue!” (sooh, sooh, sooh) and they all came running.
Enough!
Another woman was showing her grandchildren old family movies. These movies were filmed when the grandchildren’s parents were young. One of the fascinated viewers turned and announced, “Grandma, you were new then!”
An amused mother tells of her family’s move to Oxford from the city. Her urban-experienced youngest son was invited by a new friend to spend the afternoon at a local cattle farm. That night, the son told his mother that the farmer had lots of cows and he had named all of them “Sue.” The lad continued to explain that the farmer stood at the fence, cupped his hands to his mouth and called, “Sue! Sue! Sue!” (sooh, sooh, sooh) and they all came running.
Enough!
Epilogue
Therapists direct their patients to relax by imagining themselves in the best place they can visualize. My imagination seems to linger here where I live – in my well-maintained and somewhat pristine little town. I consider myself fortunate to have lived in historic Oxford over the last 58 years. The town was a safe and caring place in which to raise four children. For over 33 years, the area allowed me a satisfying career in public education. My church has provided spiritual growth and avenues for service. The local college generously shares cultural opportunities with the community.
High on the list of our town’s positive features, I always place its people. I cherish the memory of the good friends I made when I moved here. Too many are no longer with us. I welcome the arrivals who have joined our citizenry through the years. Quality people continue to discover our little secret, our little town of Oxford.
High on the list of our town’s positive features, I always place its people. I cherish the memory of the good friends I made when I moved here. Too many are no longer with us. I welcome the arrivals who have joined our citizenry through the years. Quality people continue to discover our little secret, our little town of Oxford.